Nobody Likes a Tattletale

Now that The Tyke has hit the ripe old age of 2, I'm finding that his personality is blossoming like crazy. It seems like he suddenly went from being a helpless baby to a fully functioning human overnight. Which puts me in a conflicted state of mind. On one hand, I am experiencing relief that the baby stage is mercifully over and Riley can stop hiding the razor blades and heavy drugs from me. On the other hand, I'm trying to process the feelings of panic that have come from realizing that I will actually be accountable for the things that The Tyke learns in my home. With that in mind, I am trying to teach him valuable life lessons.

I try to teach him to be curious and encourage him to explore. Like the time he explored his way through the bookcase in the office, one book at a time. The paper trail left behind would have incriminated both me and The Tyke when Riley got home, therefore, a cover-up was quickly instigated and an ironclad excuse offered: The dog did it. It may not have been the best excuse in history, but it still ranks higher than "I am not a crook" and "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

I show The Tyke how to compromise when I tell him things like, "Three more bites of dinner, then you can have an M&M."

I also try to teach him how to be reasonable and talk things out. An example I set daily when my response to his oft-repeated phrase of "Don't wanna!" is "Too bad."

And of course, his language skills are increasing all the time as he discovers even more words to add to his vocabulary like "Sunny" (honey), "Ah moe" (I want more), "Peez" (please), "Kay Pu" (thank you), "Tip-ski" (Dixie), and "%@*#!" (%@*#!).

On second thought, maybe I'm not so relieved at the new skills The Tyke is learning. Now that he can understand more things and talk, that means he can also tell on me. I may still be ok though. I'll just say the dog did it.